My Rebirth

by Blanca J. Gomez
Published January 26, 2007

My name is Blanca J. Gomez. I was born in Guerrero, Mexico. When I was young the most important things to me were my studies and my family, but I believed I was in love. I had a boyfriend and that is where my troubles began. He was not who I thought he was but I could not see it because I was in love. However, my mom knew and we had many problems because of this. I did not realize it until my boyfriend attempted to violate me. But at his point, it was too late and he turned into my worst nightmare. He would not leave me alone. He was possessive and violent. I had no other choice but to leave my country. I was very sad to leave my studies, my friends and above all, my family, even though my mom did leave with me. I did not come to the U.S. because of problems with money like many people do, but at that time, I believed that it was a matter of life or death.

When I first got here, I started high school. But at school I started having problems immediately. The first problem was I did not know English and second I was face to face with discrimination. On the very first day I was made to feel that I was nothing more than a cockroach. I did not want to go back to school. I know I gave up too easily but at that time I felt very bad psychologically speaking. I am not trying to justify my weaknesses but it was not easy facing sexual assault, a new country, new language and new culture. On top of that, my parents ended up in divorce. It was hard to hear them fight and listen to them say that it was all my fault. I was their biggest problem. This was not easy. I got tired of listening to their constant fighting, I went to live with my aunt where I still continued to have problems. My cousins were jealous of me. My aunt found me a job in a cafeteria and I started to work to try to get ahead.

I stayed with my aunt and continued to suffer with a family that wasn’t my own and it was all due to my not knowing how to choose relationships. Much later I met the person who is now my husband. I think working in that place I came to meet the most valued person in my life apart from my mother. He helped me reconcile with my parents. Even though they are separated, they were the people who gave me life. We dated for approximately a year and a half and then married through a justice of the peace. One of my goals this year is to be married by the church and buy a house. I need more stability in my life in order to have my first baby. Now I realize that my mother is the person I most admire and I am very proud to be her daughter.

Speaking about work, I believe my situation is the same as everyone else’s, that of low wages. The language problem is one of the factors that keep us from moving ahead. Now, I am feeling much happier because I am learning English in a school that does not discriminate against me because I speak Spanish. I wish every person like me would take that step: to learn English. It has changed my life. I feel more confident and self assured. Once at my job I answered the telephone (this always cause me to feel panic because I did not understand anything when they asked me something), and a lady asked me if we sold a certain product. I did not understand the name of the product she gave me. She started to spell it out and I did not understand anything she was saying. She got very angry and asked to speak to the owner of the store. I got the owner and this is what she told him, “You are an idiot for allowing an uneducated person to answer the phone!” The owner answered, “I do not appreciate you telling me what I should do, but tell me, what would you do in my place?” The lady answered, “Fire her!” I will never forget that incident because I felt so bad. The owner did not fire me but did reprimand me and said, “Blanca, you need to learn English.” Now that I’m learning English I feel so self assured, and I know that I am capable of learning. But I also have aspirations of finishing high school and why not even pursue a career.

I believe my struggle here has been more emotional than monetary. From here on out I can’t ask God for any more because He has given me everything. I know I am one of His most beloved daughters. He has given me love, health, a lovely family whom I love and value very much, a wonderful husband, loving and understanding. He loves me and I love him very much. I have great and loyal friends, a patient and intelligent teacher and above all a Mom like no other. She is very special and loving. I know with God’s help, my strong faith, and my husband’s love, I will accomplish all my goals and dreams.

Thank you,
Blanca J. Gomez

Story written in Spanish by Blanca and translated by teacher Carmen Rodriguez.

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